Soooo… Yesterday was my 6 month Surgiversary!!! And today is Week 26!!

I have lost a total of almost 92lbs from my highest weight (06/07/10)… 82.5lbs from my pre-op weight (11/01/10)… and 74lbs from my surgery date (11/23/10)!! Check out my weekly weigh in info under the “My Progress” link.

It has definitely NOT been easy. Those who say weight loss surgery (WLS) is the easy way out can suck it! This is the hardest thing I have ever done. But it’s paying off. I hope it continues to go well for me. I have reached 3 of my goals so far, but I still have a few more goals I would like to reach. My next goal is to get down to my BD (“before Damian”, my 7 year old) weight.

It’s kind of weird to me that people are really noticing my weight loss. I’ve gotten many compliments. Even weirder to me is that I don’t know how to respond to these compliments when I still feel and see myself as my old (HUGE) self. I think it’s because I still have so far to go.

I’ve been getting out my old BD clothes and am shocked that not only do these things fit, but some are actually BIG!! These clothes barely even fit BD and now they’re big??

I remember around the 3 Week Post-Op mark… I was freaking out because I had hit the dreaded 3 week stall. The one that depresses you and makes you think you are the only one in the world that WLS will not work for. The stall that makes you fear you have gone through such a drastic (and SURGICAL) intervention and then 20 or so pounds is all you feel like you’re going to lose. That was so depressing. But eventually, your body gets back into losing mode. Yeah, I’ve stalled a couple more times since then. But each time I just continue to do what I’m supposed to and know that my body will respond.

On the other hand, I have gone back to some bad habits recently. As recent as not even a week ago. This is not even something I wanted to bring up because it’s shameful to admit… to myself and to the rest of the WLS community. And it has to do with drinking. I had not had much alcohol in a very long time. I’d had maybe two drinks in the past couple of YEARS. This past week, I’ve started to experiment with alcohol again. Not like I used to, but it’s still something I know I should NOT be doing!

I’ve probably had 10 drinks in the past week. Granted, I would have had 10 drinks in one day in the past. But it’s still something that I’m not proud of. Especially because I’ve been known to do completely stupid things when drunk. This is going to be what I work on for a while. I can’t turn to food for comfort, so I’m finding myself turning to alcohol. But I will find a way to control this so that I don’t ruin what I’ve worked so hard for.

Just now, I am seeing that it could actually be self sabotage. I don’t know how to handle people’s reactions and comments, much less their compliments. I am not seeing what others are seeing yet. Or maybe it’s just that I’ve hit a pretty big milestone. Or both of these combined. I don’t know!

And as few and far between as my updates have been, they will probably happen even less now. I started out trying to do an update on a weekly basis but I would just forget. I’m going to try to do a monthly update and see how that goes. I may or may not continue to do weekly weigh-ins. I’m not sure. But if I ever have anything I need to get out, I will make sure to do so here. After all, I started this blog with the sole purpose of documenting my journey for myself and no one else.

A few years down the road, hopefully I would have reached my goal weight by then, I will print all these entries out and put together a scrapbook-type of thing for myself. Sadly, this scrapbook will not have many “before” pictures of me. Being so big, I would get mad if a camera was even pointed in my direction. I still dislike the camera very much, but I take pics much more often now. I really want to look back at my journey and see where i’ve been and where I do NOT want to be again.

Numbers… so far:

Weight lost since high weight on 06/07/10 (11.5 months ago):    -91.8lbs

Weight lost since pre-op on 11/01/10 (6.5 months ago):              -82.5lbs

Weight lost since surgery on 11/23/10 (6 months ago):               -74.0lbs